Episode #38: Your Thoughts Are Creating Your Reality (Whether You Realize It or Not)

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Design your dream life. I am Cara. I am your host. And I am so grateful that you are here with me today. And I want to start today with something that might surprise you.

I mean, if you know me, it probably won't surprise you because I am a personal development junkie. But the single most powerful tool that I use to go from bankruptcy to.

To multiple six figures, from corporate burnout to genuine freedom from being a hundred, I think it was $170,000 in debt after bankruptcy with a different business venture to paying it off within a year. It wasn't business strategy. It wasn't marketing or funnels or anything like that.

It was my thoughts and more specifically, learning how to observe them, question them, and intentionally redirect them through this simple practice of journaling. Now, I know that some of you might be thinking that you don't have time for journaling. You're overwhelmed, you're busy.

You might think that that's a little woo woo, and you don't want to deal with any of that mindset stuff. And I get it. I really do, because I used to think that exact same thing. And I am, honestly, I am not a Woo person.

I'm very much a practical personal development person. But here is what I have learned from spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on personal development and rebuilding my life three times.

Your thoughts are literally creating your reality. And if you are not paying attention to them, my friend, they are running the show whether you realize it or not.

So today we are going to dive deep into the power of your thoughts and how journaling can be the bridge between where you are now and the life that you are actually meant to be living. So let me tell you about a really big moment for me. Remember when I told you, and maybe you've heard that story.

If not, I don't even know what episode that was.

But I shared about that letter that I received right before our bankruptcy, the one where I went to the post office and got the registered letter and the bank was coming after us for $230,000 and it was already past due. And it was a very scary, doom, gloom letter.

And I completely broke down and I called my husband Sean at work and I was sobbing and I was convinced, like, this was just. This was just the end of everything. And he had said something that stopped me dead in my tracks. He was like, babe, this is great news.

It's finally coming to an end. Everything that matters, we have. And in that moment, I realized something so Profound.

We both were looking at the exact same situation, but our thoughts about it were creating completely different realities. My thoughts were creating panic victim and despair, and his thoughts, we're creating relief, gratitude and empowerment.

The same facts, completely different experiences. And that's when I really, truly started to understand that our thoughts aren't just random mental chatter.

They are actively creating our emotional state, our energy, our decisions, and ultimately our result. So we want you to think about it when you wake up.

And if your first thought is something like, hello again, another overwhelming day is about to begin. How does your body feel? What kind of energy do you bring to your work? What kind of decisions do you make from that state?

Now imagine waking up and thinking, oh my gosh, it's another beautiful day that I get to design the dream life that I have, that I have control over myself. I have the freedom. I am so grateful for the freedom that I have in my life. Completely different energy, right? Completely different possibilities.

Your thoughts are not neutral. They're either moving you towards the life that you want or away from it. There honestly is no in between. So here is what is really wild though.

Most of us aren't even aware of the thoughts that are running through our minds. I once had this tool to me at a personal development seminar, and it was so true.

They're like, your unconscious mind is like a gazillion of your computer tabs running in the background of your brain. I was like, oh my gosh. So I could put a visual with it. You know, our unconscious mind is doing that.

And neuroscientists estimate that we have between 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. And about 95% of them, my friends, are, are unconscious. That means there are tabs running in the back of your brain, right?

We are creating our reality. 95% of what's creating your reality is happening below your conscious awareness. So let me give you an example.

Maybe you have a thought pattern that says, I'm not smart enough, or I always mess things up, or rich people are greedy, or I don't deserve success. These thoughts might be so automatic, so familiar, that you don't even notice them anymore. They are just background noise.

But they are not innocent background noise. They are actively sabotaging your dream.

When I was building my real estate company in my 20s, I had this unconscious thought pattern that said I'm too young for success or I don't know that I deserve success. And I didn't even realize that I was thinking these thoughts honestly.

But there they were underneath everything, causing me to sabotage my own success.

I would get close to a deal or something and then unconsciously I would pull back because my programming said that level of success wasn't safe for someone like me. It wasn't until I started journaling regularly that I could actually see these patterns. And once I could see them, I could start to change them.

So this brings us to journaling.

And I want to be really clear about what I mean when I say journaling, because I am not talking about like dear diary, today I ate a sandwich and Julie pissed me off because X, Y, Z.

No, I am talking about intentional strategic journaling that helps you become aware of your unconscious programming and consciously choose thoughts that serve the life that you're trying to create. Journaling is like having a conversation with yourself. A real true, deep one.

It's a way to get all that mental noise out of your head and on paper so that you can actually see what is going on in there. When I first started journaling consistently, I was shocked at what I discovered. I thought I was a positive and optimistic Cara. Well, oh my goodness.

I actually, when I started writing down my thoughts and just being unfiltered, I realized that I was living in a constant state of low level self doubt and just, I'm not gonna say anxiety, but just like self loathing a little bit. Like, I would write things like, I don't know if I could do this. I don't think I deserve this. What if I fail again?

Everyone seems to have everything figured out and I don't. Maybe I shouldn't have this.

Just seeing those things on paper, honestly, it was so eye opening because when they were swirling around in my head, they feel true. But when you write them down, you can actually evaluate them. You can ask, is this thought helping me or hurting me? Is it true?

What would I rather believe instead? I also have another one too. I'm like, is it fact or fiction? You know what I mean?

And so what I want to share with you is just some specific journal practicing that has really helped me. And it's a three part reset and I, I think it's super powerful. I want you to find that quiet place where you can be uninterrupted.

And I want you to get quiet and I want you to get comfortable and light a candle that might make you relax and get in your comfy clothes and get a blanket. I love blankets. So I'm saying like, get a blanket, curl up with a journal and a pen and set the mood so that you can connect with yourself.

Okay, then What I want you to do is I want you to just do a brain dump. I want you to write everything down that is swirling around in your mind.

All the worries, the to do items, the random thoughts, the fears, the excitement, everything. Do not edit or judge. Just get it all out of your brain.

This is so important because when all of this stuff is bouncing around in your head, it creates mental clutter and also it can create overwhelm. But when you get it out on paper, it creates space and clarity. So part two then is you're going to examine your thoughts.

You need to go back through what you wrote and then you need to look for patterns that are not serving you. Things like maybe, maybe if you wrote I don't have enough time, or I'm behind everyone else, or I should be further along by now.

I want you to find those thoughts that are a pattern for you and ask yourself these three questions. Is this thought true? Is it honestly true? Like what is the proof that makes it true? And it needs to be actual proof.

It cannot just be like another random thought. Next, how does this thought make me feel? So when you think that thought, how are you feeling? And what would I rather believe instead?

And really think about that now, finally, I want you to write down the thoughts that you want to think instead. And I don't want this to be bullshit.

I don't want this to be, you know, toxic positivity or fake affirmations, but thoughts that actually feel true and empowering. I think that is the key, like not making up just some bogus stuff that when you read it, you're like, okay, this is not. No, like I want you to.

I'm gonna give you some examples. So instead of like, let's say I don't have enough time, I might write I have exactly the time I need to focus on what matters most.

Instead of I'm behind everyone else, I might write I'm exactly where I need to be on my unique journey. This is not about you trying to lie to yourself or pretend that everything is perfect when it's not.

It is about consciously choosing thoughts that support the life that you are trying to create instead of unconsciously thinking thoughts that are trying to sabotage it. So here's what started happening when I made this practice a non negotiable. And I will tell you this, this is like everything with Cara.

I am good and bad at it. I get on good cycles. Just like I do with working out and exercise or eating right and being super productive. I go through cycles.

So I'm not here to tell you that I do this every single day. No, I go through cycles, but I know that when I do this work consistently, oh, it's so powerful, right?

Because when you change your feelings, you change your actions. When you change your actions, you change your result.

And I remember during one of my lowest points, I think it was after being downsized from my COO position, and I was just spiraling in thoughts of like, maybe I'll never figure this out. Maybe I'm not cut out to be an entrepreneur. Maybe I should just go get another job.

But through journaling, I was able to catch these thoughts and redirect them. I started writing things. Like, I figured things out before I can do it again. And this is just a plot twist in my success story.

And I'm exactly where I need to be to learn what I need to learn. Those are such powerful thoughts, you guys. So many people ask me how I can be so resilient, how I can. This is it. This is the secret on how it is.

It's really doing the thought work. Because those new thoughts led to different feelings. Hope instead of despair, curiosity instead of defeat. Those feelings led to different actions.

Networking instead of hiding, learning instead of giving up. And those actions led to meeting Amy, my very first client, on that very boat, which changed everything.

It changed the trajectory of my entire life, my business, and even hers. That is the power of conscious thought management. That is the power of journaling.

Now, there are different types of journaling and they serve different purposes. So I want to quickly share with you some of my favorites. Number one is gratitude journaling, which I absolutely love.

At one point in my career, I had a gratitude journal and I sold it on Amazon. Although physical products are not my jam, so came back to the digital world, but absolutely loved my gratitude journal.

I had so many people reach out saying how amazing it was because it's. Honestly, it's so powerful. It's more powerful than people think. But honestly, you cannot just write, oh, I'm grateful for my family. Right?

Like, you need to get. You really need to get specific.

So, you know, example, I am grateful for the way that Sean or my husband made me feel, made me laugh this morning when I was really stressed out about a client situation. And I'm just so grateful for his love and his laughter and his ability to help me turn a negative moment into a positive one.

You guys even just saying that, and this was not true, but even just saying that, I could feel the love and energy in my body change. That is how powerful Gratitude is all right. Then there's future self journaling, which is so fun.

If you guys don't do any types of future self exercises, they are so fun. But this is where you write from a perspective of who you're becoming. If you wanted to be a multi million dollar business owner.

As someone who is already running a multimillion dollar business, I know that challenges are just opportunities to level up in my problem solving abilities. Like if you already had everything that you wanted, how would you act? What would you say?

What are the things that you would tell yourself now if you already had some of the things that you really, really want? And then the next one is stream of consciousness journaling. This is just writing whatever comes to mind without stopping or editing.

It is amazing for accessing your unconscious thoughts and just getting clarity on things that you didn't even know that you were thinking about. Now some people put a timer. They set a timer and other people, they don't. So you can choose to either set a timer or not.

The next one is a problem solving journaling session. So this is where you present a challenge to yourself and then you write out the different perspectives and solutions. Oh, I love these.

Like, I, like, I am definitely like, I do this, I do this unconsciously. Like if I have a problem, I will go and do this.

I will write out the problem and then ultimately I will write out all the different types of solutions. The good, the bad, the ugly.

But I also love asking questions like if, if the person that, like maybe you have a coach or a mentor, if there was somebody there, like what would they say to me? Or if I knew I couldn't fail, what would I do? Or how else could I figure this out?

Or what do I think is a better, quicker, faster, easier way to, to solve this? Like, there's so many good questions and the key is honestly you just find what works for you and try to work on making it consistent.

Like I told you, I even struggle with this. But I love all the different types of journaling that I have just shared with you. So I again need to be honest with you.

You're probably going to resist this practice at first. Your brain is going to tell you it's a waste of time. You don't need to do it, you're too busy.

The resistance is actually proof of how powerful this works because your unconscious programming does not want to be examined. It is there to keep you safe. It wants you to stay hidden. It wants to keep running the show.

And I remember the first time I started journaling consistently and I would find every excuse not to do it. I'll do it later. Oh, I don't have anything to write about right now. Oh, this is silly. I need to check my emails first. Oh, I think the kids need me.

Oh, maybe I should go for a walk with Sean. Or ooh, does the dog need to go out? Like, I literally, I would try all the things, but I made a commitment to myself to do it anyways.

Even if I only wrote for five minutes, even if I didn't feel like it, even if it felt awkward at first. And here's what I discovered. The days that I skipped journaling were always harder. My mind was more scattered, My energy was lower.

My decisions were more reactive. But the days that I journaled, especially the days that I didn't want to, these, they were my most powerful days.

So if you are feeling resistance right now, that's totally normal. That's actually a sign that this could work, especially in a transformational way for you. Now, I want to give you a specific challenge.

For the next seven days, I want you to try the three part reset I shared with you. Set aside 10 minutes each morning. Do your brain dump. Just examine your thoughts and consciously choose better ones. And here's the key.

Don't wait until you feel like it. Don't wait until you have the perfect journal or the perfect setup. Just grab whatever piece of paper or notes that you have and start.

Because here's what I know. I know that your thoughts created the life that you have now. And your thoughts will create the life that you have in the future.

My friends, the question is, are you going to let them create unconsciously or are you going to take conscious control and design exactly what you want? You get to decide. And journaling is how you take your power back.

Now, I want you to imagine for a moment what your life would look like if you consciously chose your thoughts to and they support your dreams instead of unconsciously thinking thoughts that sabotage them. What would be possible if you woke up every day feeling clear and intentional instead of overwhelmed and scattered? What would you create?

If you approach challenges with curiosity instead of defeat, what would you build? If you truly believe that you were capable of anything that you set your mind to, that life isn't just possible for you. It's waiting for you.

And it starts with taking conscious control of the most important force in your life, my friends. Your thoughts. Journaling isn't about writing words on paper. It's about becoming the conscious creator of your own experience.

It's about stepping into your power as the designer of your dream life. And, friends, you absolutely have the power. You've always had it. You just need to pick up the pen and start using it.

Your thoughts have created everything you have now. Your. Your thoughts will create everything you have next. Make them count. All right, friends, that's all that I have for you today.

If it resonated with you, I would love to hear your journaling experience. Send me a message on Instagram Oach Karahsharon and let me know any insights or discoveries that you have had.

And remember, you are allowed to want more. You are allowed to change your mind, and you are absolutely allowed to design a life that lights you up inside.

All right, my friends, I will see you next week.