Episode #28: Radical Self Belief – How to Trust Yourself No Matter What

The primary focus of our discussion revolves around the notion that the perceived inaccessibility of one's next level of achievement is not a reflection of one's intelligence or capability, but rather a consequence of an intrinsic lack of self-trust. I assert that this self-doubt manifests as an inability to take decisive action, particularly in moments of uncertainty and solitude, when external validation is absent. We delve into the concept of radical self-belief, emphasizing that true transformation occurs when individuals commit to acting with conviction, even in the absence of clarity. The episode further explores practical strategies for cultivating this self-trust, such as honoring personal commitments and reframing failures as mere adjustments rather than reflections of identity. Ultimately, we contend that self-belief is not an innate gift but a deliberate practice that can be nurtured through consistent, courageous actions.

The podcast episode offers a profound exploration into the critical role of self-trust in achieving personal aspirations and overcoming barriers. Host Kara articulates a pivotal insight: the limitations that individuals perceive in their journey toward success are often rooted in an intrinsic lack of self-trust. Rather than attributing setbacks to a deficiency in intelligence or strategic prowess, Kara emphasizes that the true impediment lies in the hesitance to act decisively when faced with uncertainty. This notion challenges listeners to confront their fears and to recognize that clarity and confidence are not prerequisites for action but rather the result of taking bold steps into the unknown.

Central to the discussion is the concept of radical self-belief, which Kara defines as a proactive commitment to one's own potential. She underscores the importance of honoring commitments to oneself and making timely decisions, which collectively contribute to building a resilient mindset. By reframing failures as learning experiences rather than reflections of one’s identity, Kara invites her audience to adopt a more forgiving perspective toward their own shortcomings. This shift in narrative is crucial for cultivating an environment where self-trust can flourish, fostering an unwavering commitment to personal growth and achievement.

Throughout the episode, Kara provides tangible strategies for nurturing self-belief, urging listeners to disengage from the need for external validation and to focus on their intrinsic motivations. She highlights that the path to self-trust is paved with daily actions that reinforce one’s beliefs and values. By concluding with an empowering reminder that self-belief is a choice that must be made repeatedly, Kara inspires her audience to embrace their journeys with courage and conviction, ultimately transforming their approach to personal and professional challenges.

Takeaways:

• The essence of self-belief is rooted in trusting oneself to pursue goals despite uncertainties.

• Individuals often mistakenly associate their identity with their failures, leading to detrimental self-narratives.

• Radical self-belief requires consistent action and the willingness to embrace discomfort without external validation.

• Clarity in decision-making is achieved by taking decisive actions rather than awaiting perfect conditions.

• Maintaining commitments to oneself fosters self-trust, which is essential for personal and professional growth.

• Building resilience through bold actions creates a foundation for true confidence and self-belief.

Link notes: https://cart.kreativedigitalmediainc.com/ai-work-week-slayer/

TRANSCRIPT:
Hello, my friends, and welcome to another podcast of design your dream life. I'm your host, Kara. And oh, my goodness. Today we are gonna talk about some things. My friends, let's just get brutally honest here for a second.

If your next level still feels out of reach, it's not because you're not smart enough or capable enough or strategic enough. It is because deep, deep down, you do not trust yourself to hold it.

And you don't trust yourself to make the call to leap before it's proven, to back yourself when it's quiet, when it's scary, and when no one is clapping for you. And here's the twist. You think you're waiting for more clarity, but clarity isn't coming until you make the darn decision.

And in this episode, we are talking about it all.

We're talking about the kind of self trust that moves before you have that certainty, and why it's the only kind of belief that ever changes your life. So let's dive in, shall we? Okay. Most people think that they're building a business, but really they're just building a feedback loop.

They post or they create, they launch, they ask, they wait. They collaborate based on external signals.

But when your confidence is rented from other people's reactions, you're always one no away from retreating, one mean comment away from shrinking back down, and one flop away from questioning your entire identity. And that's honestly a dangerous game. Because the people that you admire, they don't wait to be validated.

They decide and they let the world catch up later. So here's a reframe, right? External applause is a lagging indicator of internal belief. So let's just kill a myth. Self belief is not a gift.

It's not a feeling, it's not a muscle. And most of you have been skipping leg day. Here is how people with unshakable belief operate.

Number one, they honor their word to themselves like a contract. You guys, this is so important. And this is one for me in business and in my personal life generally, I do so well.

I know for me where I fall short of this and where I am so working on this is my health. So this is something even for me that I'm really, really, really working on is being able to keep my word to myself.

Like it's a contract around my fitness and nutrition. So every micro promise kept is like a vote of self trust. And every time you say, I'll do it and don't, it's a vote against yourself.

Number two, they make fast decisions and they make them Right. Winners don't wait for perfect because perfection is an illusion. They act, adapt, and absorb the data without collapsing.

And so if you're somewhere right now where you've gotten to a certain point and you're trying to get to that next level, there is maybe something going on that is preventing you from taking that step and acting, just consistently acting. Number three, they don't narrate failure as identity. This is so good, right? Something doesn't work great, just adjust.

But they don't tell themselves a story that they're broken or that they'll take it personally, or that this means something about them. And I'll be honest, this is another one that I am consistently working at because I am definitely an overachiever and I am really good at what I do.

And sometimes when I'm doing something for me and it, I don't knock it out of the park, I really, I really sometimes take it a little too, too personal and I'm. That's one of the things that I also constantly work at. But radical belief isn't about feeling invincible.

It's about feeling fear and not making it mean anything about your worth. That is so, so good, right?

I always say to my clients, and you've probably heard me say this before, is that, you know, I fail 80% of the time and I only win 20%, but the 20% of the time that I win, I knock it out of the park, right? And so it is just part of a process. Now here's what I also find really interesting.

And something in my own journey that I have been working on is being able to internalize that for me. So for me and my, with my clients, I can do this without a problem, like so well.

But when I'm doing myself, launching my own funnels, my own product, my own, I really have to do the extra work not to internalize so called failure into making it mean a story that maybe I shouldn't be doing this, maybe I should go back and get more clients instead of pursuing this passion of mine.

And so I want to share that with you because maybe no matter where you are, there's a certain part of your business that you have some narrative that's also letting fear give you a story that isn't necessarily true. It is just, you just have to learn how to neutralize fear and the fear of failure and neutralize it and not make it mean anything. Right?

So here's what's keeping 90% of your audience in half effort mode. All right? They're terrified of looking like they care too much.

They're terrified of going all in and being seen trying because if they fail while half assing it, they get to say, eh, I wasn't really trying. But when you fully commit now it is real, now it's personal and now there's some skin in the game.

And that's exactly what you've been avoiding, right? So you know, and you can think of this in any niche, right? Whether it be fitness or business or personal development.

Like it's, it's really interesting if you think of your own space. Like I know for me again, like in the weight loss space, like I don't know how many times I've started a program and it's so true.

I me as the client, like I'm only going in halfway, like I'm not going all the way in. And I know the times in my life where I've totally gone all the way in and I've been committed. I've actually seen the result. So here's the thing.

When we're talking about this, we need to talk about radical self belief. What that actually demands of you. Letting people misunderstand you, launching things without hand holding and they might flop.

Being okay with rejection and ridicule, that is so huge. Making moves without giving a TED talk to justify them. Having so much belief there. It's so interesting because sometimes I also say it's crazy.

There are some people out there that have way less knowledge than me, way less expertise than me, that are crushing it. Like you wouldn't believe. But their self belief is the thing that is so crazy.

You sit down, you have a conversation with them, even if you know they're wrong or you've taken their program and it's shitty.

I don't know if you've ever done this, if you've talked to a person, if you've been in an event or something and you've met somebody where you've taken a course and like, you know, they're kind of shitty and you talk to them. I have found a pattern that their self belief and their confidence is so unreal that it doesn't even matter.

I could even challenge them in that moment and be like, you know, I actually didn't really enjoy the course or this is, you know what I mean? And it's so fascinating to see them come back and it doesn't faze them. You do not need a thicker skin.

You need to connect with yourself and be able to know with a thousand percent certainty that you're on your path and you're good and no one can knock you down, right? No one can take that away from you. All right, so how do you practice radical self belief daily even if you are not there yet?

And I will say, like, my belief in myself is definitely so much stronger the more and more I work on it. I feel like I'm continuing every single day. And I know a lot of my friends who are also high achievers. It's also something we're all continuing on.

This is the part most confident podcasts maybe skip. So let's get super tactical, all right? Let's put in like the daily reps. Let's think about this like we're at the gym. Lock in one win per day.

That's only for you. So you. No public accountability, no social posts, no one's clapping or liking. You know, just one hard thing that proves you're a finisher.

Oh, I love this. Right? Number two, cut. Validation seeking behavior. And this I feel like, is so hard. And I think in today more than ever, we're so addicted.

So stop screenshotting everything for your audience. Stop asking, do you think this is good? And, like, make your work sacred again. Just maybe try this for one week and if you like it, keep doing it.

If it doesn't work for you, then ditch it. Another thing I would say is da discomfort, like compound interest, because each bold move equals one point of resilience muscle.

And I think for me, I am constantly building that resilience muscle. Listen, in my life right now, I'm probably going through a super, I wouldn't say the hardest season of my life because I've gone through a lot.

I'll just say I'm going through a super challenging time this week. I'm not going to talk about it because I don't believe in talking things when you're in it, but I'll talk about it when I'm through it.

But I'm still showing up here because I am committed to this podcast and I'm committed to getting an episode out every week. And so for me, I'm like, okay, like, this is a bold move. Some people are like, what the heck are you doing today? Why are you doing that?

I'm like, because I want to. Because I committed to myself because I promised myself. And remember I told you, in my business, I'll keep that commitment no matter what.

So because of that, confidence can be a result, right? So each bold move that we make and we get those resilience point, confidence becomes result of that.

And not only that, but you just, it's more than just confidence and I don't know the right word that I can say right now for that, but you build more than just confidence and resiliency. There's something super powerful about it. And then the last thing is anchor to identity, not outcomes. So instead of did I win today?

Ask, did I act like a self trusting person today? Did I show up the way that I wanted to show up today?

Did I, you know, if I was talking about health, did I move my body the way I wanted to move my body today? Did I create anything in my business or what did I create in my business that it was magical for me today?

I also think that I have, I have a sticky note on my monitor that I look at every day that says do something that will make your energy blossom. And so really just kind of focusing too. Getting the shift away from like how many sales and how like, but how did you feel?

Like, how did you show up in your world today? Self belief isn't built through success. It is built through who you decide to be when success is nowhere in sight. You don't need another course.

You don't need another blueprint. You need to become the person who trusts themselves in the dark. The world doesn't reward the most talented. It honestly rewards the most certain.

So if this called to you today, gosh, share it with a friend, send it to, to a girlfriend that might need to hear this. And I hope that you have had an amazing week, my friend. I will see you on the next episode.