Episode: #12 The Power of Connection: How One Conversation Changed My Life

Kara shares her transformative journey from a high-powered corporate role to embracing her true self and launching her own coaching business. She reflects on how, despite her extensive knowledge in personal development, she lost her passion and identity in the corporate world, ultimately leading to a pivotal moment of realization. After being unexpectedly let go from her job, she faced the fear of uncertainty but found support in her husband and the drive to pursue her dreams. Kara emphasizes the importance of resilience and problem-solving, illustrating how making bold decisions can lead to unexpected opportunities. Through a chance encounter at a conference, she found her first client, setting her on the path to success and fulfillment.

kara opens up about her personal journey, sharing the transformative experiences that led her to create the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Her passion for personal development ignited at a young age, influenced by figures like Oprah and Dr. Phil. Despite her extensive background in personal growth and success in the corporate world, kara faced a profound identity crisis while serving as COO at a company. This pivotal moment forced her to confront the disconnection she felt from her true self, leading to a realization that success without fulfillment is hollow. She reflects on the challenges of navigating the corporate ladder while losing her essence and describes how the pressure of high-level management can overshadow one's core values and passions.

The narrative shifts as Cara recounts a particularly challenging phase in her life when she unexpectedly lost her job after returning from a much-anticipated European vacation. With a new mortgage and a kitchen renovation in progress, she faced the daunting prospect of unemployment. In that moment of uncertainty, Cara found clarity in her desire to pursue her entrepreneurial dreams. With her husband's unwavering support, she took the courageous step to invest in a coaching program, despite the financial risks involved. This decision sparked a series of events that would ultimately lead her to discover her true calling and establish a thriving business.

As the episode unfolds, kara emphasizes the importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity. She shares the story of how a chance encounter with a fellow attendee at a conference led to her first major client, demonstrating that opportunities can arise unexpectedly when one is open to making connections. kara's journey is a testament to the power of community and the impact of supportive relationships. Through candid reflections on her struggles and triumphs, she inspires listeners to embrace their challenges as stepping stones toward realizing their dreams, reminding us all that life is a journey filled with lessons and growth.

Takeaways:

• Personal development can lead to profound life changes, even when you feel lost.

• Investing in yourself through coaching can dramatically transform your career and mindset.

• Building a supportive community is essential for overcoming personal and professional challenges.

• Experiencing setbacks can lead to unexpected opportunities for growth and success.

• True fulfillment comes from aligning your career with your passions and values.

• Recognizing when you're disconnected from yourself is the first step towards reclaiming your life.

Links referenced in this episode:

• designyourdreamlifetoday.com

transcript:

 Hey there, I'm Kara and welcome to design your dream life podcast, where we dive in and explore how you can use practical personal development to uplevel your life, whether you are looking to have better or deeper relationships, fix your problems with money, learn to love yourself unconditionally, leave a dead end or high stress career, or just want more happiness in your life.

My friend, you are in the right place. Are you ready?

 Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Design Your Dream Life podcast. I am Kara. I am your host. I am so happy you're here, and I am also. So grateful. This is going to be an episode that is completely unscripted, completely, no notes, no nothing. It's another episode of just me talking from my heart into your ear.

And let me just first start off by saying, I am so grateful for you. Our, our podcast has, I think, This is, oh my goodness, is this 11? Am I, it could be 12. I might be recording episode 12 right now. So the podcast is fairly new and I will say we have had Over a thousand downloads so far. And I am, I just want to take a minute to just share with you my gratitude.

I thank you guys for listening. I thank you for the wonderful emails that I am getting about the podcast, about Monday motivation. It really lights my soul on fire when I hear back from you guys. So listen, you can always, always email me at hello. at designyourdreamlifetoday. com message me any feedback you have or anything you might want me to talk about or anything that might be bothering you that Um, you want maybe my opinion on how you could overcome it, anything, my friends, please.

I am always here. And part of my journey here is just to grow an incredible community of ambition, ambitious women who are bad asses and just living the life of their dreams, no matter what, no matter what setbacks, no matter what is getting in the way that we are committed to just living our best lives.

So with that being said, I also want to talk today about, oh my gosh, you guys, I have this ebook that I have. This is the third version. And I, so I have a design your dream life book, and it's going to be an ebook. I might do like a print on demand with it. Not really sure yet, but it's definitely going to be an ebook.

And I'm definitely going to record it as an audio book. And this, this has been a passion project of mine for a little bit. And this is my third version of it. And every version I feel gets better. And better. And, uh, but the problem is, is that it gets shorter and shorter. So I'm in this like, oh my goodness, like you're supposed to hit so many words, but I'm like really refining and loving what I'm saying, but then that's leading to less words and I'm like, ah, all in my head about it.

But, uh, My goal is to get it done within the next few days so that I can get it out to the world and I hope that once it's released, you guys will go out and grab it because I promise you it is a whole bunch of amazingness and inspiration and success stories from friends who are living their dream lives.

So if you don't have any of those friends in your world yet, you can borrow the stories of some of mine. And just really inspire you to take the action to create the life that you want. And so I want to, I want to talk about this a little bit because I don't know if I've really gone into this story of how I lost myself in my corporate role.

And here's what's really interesting. I have always been In love with personal development, like I just have, I have, I had a traumatic childhood and so from a very young age, you know, I loved Oprah and Dr. Phil and at 17 was reading all of those books and all of the things and I just have done seminars and I've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on personal development education.

And I'll tell you, there's some stories I'll tell you from a different time, from some of my learnings in my personal development journey, um, but I, I had all of that knowledge, like I've done a lot of things, I've, I've broken a cinder block brick with my bare hands, I broke an arrow on my neck, like I did all of these things and I pushed myself through all of these limits, so I'm telling you all of this because here I was thinking, I have all of this knowledge, I have all of this experience, and here I am later on in life, many years later, in a situation where I have completely lost myself.

And I didn't even understand how I got here. I was just like, holy shit, I mean, I have all the tools, all the things. And all of a sudden I woke up one day and I was like, who the fuck am I? What has happened to me? I don't have passion. I don't have energy. And for me, that's really huge. I think you guys can probably hear my passion and my energy.

Like I'm a high energy human. And I woke up and I was just like, meh. And I didn't like my life. I didn't like my job. And to be honest with you, these are the things like, I will say this, at my top, I, I think the team that I was overseeing was 40 ish. I don't even quite remember. Uh, but I remember when I started at this company, I came in guns a blazing and I quickly worked my way up to a COO.

So that goes to show you the success that I had and the ability to lead that. You know, I demonstrated. And then when I was up there, and just over time, I lost who I was. It, literally, soul sucking. Absolutely. I had never truly experienced soul sucking until I had that experience. And I think there was a variety of things.

But the reality is, is that at the top, I completely, from all the stress, from all the things, lost my own soul. I was going to say North Star, but you know what I mean like that just my own internal compass and literally I was just doing exactly whatever the CEO told me to do without a filter without anything and people at work started to not like me and at that time I was so disconnected.

I honestly didn't care. And here's where I think there is a danger because you can also gaslight yourself into anything. Like, that's the one thing I've learned in personal development and being a certified life coach. Like you can honestly gaslight yourself into anything, right? You'd be like, well, their opinion doesn't matter.

Well, da, da, da, like, so you really have to learn how to go inside and really decide it. What voice you want to listen to and at that time, to be honest, I just didn't even care. I did not care at all. I was just like, I'm doing my job like I'm exhausted. I don't really care and like this is what the CEO wants.

I'm so tired of fighting, so I'm just going to give in and I think Slowly over time that just ate away at my soul. And then before I knew it, it wasn't me anymore. And one of my friends who I'm still friends with to this day, and I was her boss, she, she had said to me near the end of my time at the company, she said, you know, the Cara who walked in this door, I admired, she was just a force to be reckoned with, like her energy, her optimism, all of that.

Like it was. It's awesome. The Kara that's right in front of me right now, as hard as it is to say, I don't really like, and I will always remember those words because it was just like, Whoa, think about that. Somebody that you work with that has the balls, this is why we're still friends, has the balls to call you out on your shit.

And she was so right. And it was the beginning of going inside and being like, What am I doing here? What, what is actually happening? And why, why am I so disconnected? Why am I, you know, and start to take direction and start to take steps to correcting that and fixing that. And I'm not going to say that it was easy.

So when I was a CEO, things got out of control. I wanted to leave. Um, and the CEO was like, no, no, like, why don't we move you into something else? And so someone else took over CEO and I started a new division of the company, which was a digital product, um, wing of the company. And I oversaw the whole course, created the launch and all of that.

And then after the launch, I went on my dream European, European vacation, right? And that is where, so, and I will say, I, my husband always. was our breadwinner. Um, and then I became the breadwinner and it was amazing. And then since then I've retired my husband, but because we're so young, my husband still does things, but he, things that he wants to do.

So, you know, he was an engineer before in engineering, and now he loves driving bus. That is what he loves. He loves socializing with the people. He likes driving that big thing. Well, it is my nightmare. Um, That is his dream, like right now, that's his dream of something to do to keep him busy. And so I support him because he has always supported me even though i'm like, oh my gosh, like I can't even imagine but anyways Way back when when this all happened we had just moved to this house, which I would say is maybe like twice the size of our old house and we We got back from our European vacation and we literally had just ripped the kitchen out completely gutted it the day before the call that I went on.

And so, and I was paying for the kitchen renovation. And so at the time, my husband was still working, but I was on a call and my first day back, I was let go and I was told I can no longer afford your salary. The agency side isn't doing well. We have to shut all this down. And I had no work, like nothing, like no two weeks notice, no nothing.

I'm just done. And I remember in that moment, I was like, I never want to work for another human ever again. Like, I just don't, I'm so over this. But at the same time, I was so lost. You guys, I, I just didn't know. Like, I'm like, part of me was like, do I go get another job just for security? Cause we did just like, I mean, more than double our mortgage and we're doing this renovation.

We have no kitchen! I'm like, oh my god, and we were gonna like, it just, I was like, oh, like, I don't, I really, really don't know what to do. And my husband was so supportive and he was like, hey, if this is what you really want to do, like, I believe in you. I believe you can do anything, and I'm so grateful to have a partner like that, and I hope that all of you who have partners have partners that can support your dream, and in return, you get to support theirs, even if you don't understand it, even if it feels scary, that's the one thing that I can honestly say.

I have been married. Oh gosh, I'm so bad. I have been with my husband since I was 17. I'm now 45. We got married in 2001. So we've been married, um, well, 20, what was it? 23 years. Um, and so I just, like, it has been a journey. Our marriage has survived. building a multi million dollar company, losing everything, going completely bankrupt and rebuilding again to having him retire at a young age.

And, you know, again, I actually do have friends in my circle that have gotten divorced after that because they're like both home, they like, and they were disconnected and they're like, what the heck? And then there's resentment because. One isn't really doing anything and just blowing money or whatever.

So I'm just, it's so interesting because there are problems. I'm just sharing some of those stories. There's problems at every single level like I, I, I want you guys to know that life is no better here nor there. Like. And trust me, because I have worked with some super successful people, and they still have problems.

They still like, but it's your ability to work through those problems that gets stronger. It's kind of like a muscle. You know, people can throw things at me now, and I have worked my way through a lot of shit. And so I can handle a lot of shit. And I honestly believe, I'm sorry, I'm going off on a tangent here, I will get back to the story.

But I did say to my kids, so my kids are 18 and 19. And they are both at university. And, you know, we went back and forth about, should they go to university? Because like I can teach them how to make six figures without going, like I can teach them skills, but first of all, do they want to be an entrepreneur?

And maybe one of them might other one definitely doesn't. And either way, they're following their own path. But I had said to my husband, we were talking about this because people are like, Oh, it's so expensive. Did I'm like, yes, And college was like one of the best times of my life. The friends that I made, the experiences that I had, like, I want my kids to have those life experiences.

You can always make money. You can always be successful. There Actually, no hurry. Like it is there. It is waiting for you. You can step up and claim it at any time in life. But remember that life is a journey. It's not a destination. And so I'm like, I want the kids to have all those experiences, but I will say this, and I've said this to my kids.

I think the reason I get paid so much money is because I can do two things. Number one, I can problem solve like nobody's business. I'm a very good problem solver. And number two, failure is nothing. I am a master at resilience and I can keep getting up no matter how many times I get knocked down. If you can figure out how to be and encompass those two types of traits in you, you will have success.

I 100 percent guarantee it. Now I realize the podcast is getting a little long, so I'm going to circle back, um, to the story. But in that moment, uh, when I was just like, I have no money, I have a big house, I have no kitchen. What am I going to do? And we just got back from our trip, our European trip. Well, I had already had.

tickets to a conference that another friend of mine said, Oh, you have to go to, you have to go to. And I was like, okay, it was like three weeks away. Now, two huge things happened. This episode might go a little long, you guys, but I think it's such an important story to tell because you honestly just never know where life is going to take you.

So number one, I had been, when I was in Europe, I had decided. I actually didn't want to work for this company anymore and I wanted to go out on my own, but I wanted to create a transition plan, right? I didn't want to obviously just cut off all the funding, but the universe had a funny way of just kicking my ass out the door, right?

And being like, well, you want it. Here we go, Kara, pushing you out there. And so I wanted to have a coach. I had never had a coach and I wanted to join this coach or mastermind. And I had a call with the person and it's expensive, you guys. So think about this, like not only have we doubled our mortgage, ripped out the kitchen, I have no income coming in, but my husband still has his income because he hadn't retired yet and I'm about to go to an event that I have to pay.

I was taking the train there, I had to pay for hotel and all of that. And. I decided right before that event, I had this phone call with this coach that I wanted to join her program. That program was 18, 000. So imagine the conversation with my husband, who is always super supportive. And I'm like, Hey, babe.

Yeah, I know I have no money coming in and I know we have all this going on. But. I want to invest 18, 000 U. S. I'm Canadian. So that's even more money, um, into joining this mastermind and coaching program. And of course he was so supportive and he has always been, which I'm very lucky. And so I signed that contract.

And signed that payment. It was a monthly payment, I believe, of 1500 US, which was as much as my mortgage payment when it was converted to Canadian. And so. When I did that, two things happened. A light went under my ass of like, I've got to be able to float this payment. And then number two, I was like, okay, like, I got to move fast because this is scary.

And we've been in bankruptcy. So I know what it's like to lose everything. And it's really funny because some of my, well, actually one of my friends, she had said there was the Kara who, um, The before and the after, like before I moved to this house that there was that Kara and then the after and my one girlfriend who's not in business or anything like that.

She's like, There was just a different you. I don't know how to explain it. Your energy, your confidence, your determination, like, and I firmly believe that. I firmly believe that if you want something so badly that you can find a way that it is so burned in you that you will truly find a way to make it happen.

So I invest in this program and then now I'm on the train to this event. And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to go get a client. I don't need, I don't need to go to work. I can go get a client. Like I can, I can do that. I've never had a client. I don't know. Like, I mean, especially in this capacity. I mean, many years ago I had my own web design business and sure I had clients, but this was completely different.

You know, now I was going to do like funnels and ads and like marketing. I'm a marketing genius at this point. And so I'm like, okay, I'm going to go find a client. And I go to this event, I really, I don't know anyone in attendance other than the friend who recommended I go actually worked for the company that the event was for.

So I had nobody, like I went there and I, I'm like, okay, all right, I'm going to get a client. Day one comes around, I'm talking to all these people and everything, everybody is like, I'm a newbie, I'm just starting. And I'm like, how the hell am I going to help you? Like oh my gosh day two same thing and I was just getting so bummed and so at the end of day two there was a And they had, they rented like a private island and there was a party on it.

And I took the first ferry over and I went around, I was kind of talking to people and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Like I just, everything hit me. I'm like, I'm a complete failure. I don't know how I'm going to pay for this coaching program and my mortgage. What the hell did I just do? Like I had this wave of regret that came over me.

And I had noticed the second, like, there was a second boatload of ferry that dropped people off and so then that one was going to be the first ferry back. And so I was literally the first person in line. I'm like, I, you know what, I just want to go back to the hotel. I want to wallow in all my shit. I just really have, I don't feel like socializing.

And so I waited in line and they opened up the boat and only a few people were on it. So they were waiting. So I went up to the very top. And I called my husband and I had said to him, Hey, um, like, I don't know, like, I don't think I'm going to get a client here. And like, I don't know what we're going to do financially.

I am so scared. I, I, I think I want to give up and, you know, we just had this conversation and this was in like Toronto and I was, I remember I was looking, it was like the little island and then you look at this, you can see the CN Tower and I was looking at it all lit up and I was like, I just don't know what I meant to do then.

Like I don't, I don't know, but like I thought maybe I could come here. I thought maybe I could land a couple of clients and everything would be okay and it's not like. And so my husband and I had this amazing conversation and you know when you're just so in a conversation, I'm looking at the CN Tower, I'm in this conversation with my husband and then I hear the and like we're about to move into my surprise, the ferry is full, I had not paid attention that the whole thing filled up and there was people all around me and so I hung up the phone, I looked to my left and a woman said, Hi.

And I said, hi, she said, how are you? I said, how are you? And, you know, and there was her name and my name. And she said, what do you do? And I said, well, you know, I gave like my little spiel about, you know, marketing and she's like, oh my gosh, you need to meet my friend Amy. And Amy was on the other side. And Amy and I had this amazing conversation on the ferry so much.

So when we got back, she's like, can we go out for dinner? And we went out for dinner and. We talked. We talked all night. And by the end of it, Amy was begging for me to work with her. And I was so, I was like, whoa. And in a capacity that I wasn't like, I went out there, I didn't even have a package in mind.

Like, I didn't know, I wasn't sure what I was doing or what I was gonna do. And we had this conversation. She's like, please, can we work together? And I said, well, let me think about it. Let me, you know, let me put something together. Um, it's getting late. I'm going to go to my room. And she's like, really? It's, please, like, the things you're saying, like, I want to Like, I really want to implement.

So at the time, Amy, her business was doing about 500, 000 a year, but she was miserable in her business. So she was not happy at all. She was just burnt out and hated it. And she was telling me all of her problems and I'm like, Oh, I can solve all these. And not only that, I can get you to a million dollars.

I know it. Like I know it. And she was like, Oh. And so. So. I went back to my room and I was like, okay, maybe this is going to lead somewhere. And she texts me at like 1am. You guys, I go to bed so early and I was already up late. She texts me like one in the morning, one or two in the morning. And she was like, I have to work with you please just put together a proposal and give it to me tomorrow so here I am like just throwing together a proposal and she got it the next day and long story short that was five years ago and I'm still with Amy today in my first year working with her.

We went from 500, 000 to 2. 2 million with 1. 1 million in profit. I always say that because so many people in this industry industry will say, Oh, we've done 2 million in sales and they, they spent 1. 9 million in advertising. So I like telling you what the profit is. So that's an amazing profit. And today we still work together.

We, uh, we're crushing it. I love her dearly. And yeah, you never know from that one moment of also just giving up. And here's the reality. I could have hung up on that phone and I could have sat there quietly, but I didn't. I looked to my left and I said hello. And that one hello has led to so much impact, not only in Amy's life, in my life, the things that we've created, the goals that we have crushed, and even the friendship that we have, it's like, it's so special from that one meeting on that one ferry, and she's in Utah, so she is in the United States, I'm in Canada, but we definitely have a wonderful relationship, and she is She was my very, very first client, and I still have her today.

So I wanted to share that story with you because. You guys you can get clients anywhere you can decide to go for it at any point in your life you don't know what I don't advise my route like I firmly believe if you wanted to build any kind of business whether that be a service business whether that be a digital product business or a podcast or influencer business or an e com business whatever that is I personally would encourage you to build it as a side hustle so we're going to do that on the side will you still have stable income.

So that it's not so scary, because I firmly do believe if you make decisions out of stress, you're not going to make the right decisions. So for me, I always say, like, I want to make sure that I'm getting to a neutral place, that I'm not making a decision out of fear or scarcity, right? Like, I want to get to this place that's neutral, and I feel like that's the best way to do this.

So if somebody's really afraid of Money or losing money or whatever. I'm like, okay, then you need to go stockpile like you need to go have some savings You need to go do what you need to do so that when you're doing this business when you're building this dream life over here You're not stressed that it has to perform because it can take time Right and so if you're making all the decisions because of scarcity or because you're afraid of fear or the lack of all of the things I promise you you're going to make the wrong decisions so make the right decisions and with that being said I'm going to end this episode and hopefully by the time this episode drops.

The ebook will be on the website. If not, it'll be coming soon. So you can check it out at designyourdreamlifetoday. com. You can also go there and hit the little free gift section that is also going to show you any free goodies I have going on right now, plus amazing, incredible offers that I feel that might align with you and sign up for something because then you can get our weekly Monday motivation newsletter, which I love producing that also has a little.

Monday audio clip that is called heart to heart with Kara so everybody I hope you have an amazing week and I will see you on the next episode.